The observations, conversations, recommendations information, and creations of a wife(not a girlfriend), mom (baby mama), professional(ultimate) social-lite(in my mind), living in reality (welcome to my world) in a suburb in Texas with a job (not a stay at home), two kids (cutest boys ever), one husband (he's enough) and an opinion(everyone's got one) about it all, for whatever rhyme or reason!
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Saturday, December 22, 2007
The Secret to Raising Smart Kids
Children raised this way develop an implicit belief that intelligence is innate and fixed, making striving to learn seem less important than seeming smart; challenges, mistakes, and effort become threats to their ego rather than opportunities to improve.
However, teaching children to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages effort rather than on intelligence or talent, helps make them into high achievers in school and in life. This results in “mastery-oriented” children who tend to think that intelligence is malleable and can be developed through education and hard work.
This can be done by telling stories about achievements that result from hard work. Talking about math geniuses who were born that way puts students in a fixed mind-set, but descriptions of great mathematicians who developed amazing skills over time creates a growth mind-set.
Sources:
Scientific American November 28, 2007
Dr. Mercola's Comments:
Learning how to fail well is perhaps the best thing you can teach your children in today’s rapidly changing world, where knowledge, technology and work processes are, in many cases, outdated before they’re mastered. And, by “failing well” I mean the ability to view “failure” as a means to grow and never stop learning. Mark John Sternal says it well in his book on learning to play the guitar,
“Work hard and it will come easy.”
How to Validate Your Children to Teach Them They are Powerful
Children do need emotional validation, however. If their negative feelings about what is happening in their lives are not validated, they may continue focusing on the negative until they are validated. Children can become pessimistic if they do not feel they are being emotionally heard and validated.
But, as Carol Tuttle describes in the article Messages Your Children Need to Hear, it’s important to not simply try to change their negative feelings into positives, but rather validate your child's negative feelings, and then offer them a choice:
1. Continue to perceive the situation as negative (which will teach them to be powerless victims), or
2. Choose to change it to positive (which teaches them they have the power to change things for the better)
How to Eliminate Self-Limiting Beliefs
Unless you are taught that you are resourceful, and therefore powerful, many of the outside influences that shape your belief system (including whether or not you’re “smart”), can sabotage your health for many years, if not the remainder of your life.
Some of these influences are so painful they remain buried in your subconscious and you simply fail to recognize the profound damage these influences have on your current health. Many times these events were not intentionally designed to harm, but nevertheless resulted in bioelectrical short-circuiting that can have profound negative influences on your health.
There are usually dozens, if not hundreds, of self-limiting beliefs that most of us carry around, which prevent us from the highest levels of health and happiness.
All the drugs in the world, and nearly most of all the cognitive talk-based psychotherapy models, will fail to heal this short-circuiting.
This new understanding of our biology, this new medical paradigm, requires new models of treatment, and the more we find out about how health is influenced by the psyche, the more it becomes evident that energy psychology tools can serve a vital function in the pursuit of optimal health.
Without a doubt, energy psychology is one of the greatest tools I have ever encountered in the healing modalities, and EFT is an amazing application of this discipline.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
In Gaps at School, Weighing Family Life
But how much is really the school’s fault?
A new study by the Educational Testing Service — which develops and administers more than 50 million standardized tests annually, including the SAT — concludes that an awful lot of those low scores can be explained by factors that have nothing to do with schools. The study, “The Family: America’s Smallest School,” suggests that a lot of the failure has to do with what takes place in the home, the level of poverty and government’s inadequate support for programs that could make a difference, like high-quality day care and paid maternity leave.
The E.T.S. researchers took four variables that are beyond the control of schools: The percentage of children living with one parent; the percentage of eighth graders absent from school at least three times a month; the percentage of children 5 or younger whose parents read to them daily, and the percentage of eighth graders who watch five or more hours of TV a day. Using just those four variables, the researchers were able to predict each state’s results on the federal eighth-grade reading test with impressive accuracy.
“Together, these four factors account for about two-thirds of the large differences among states,” the report said. In other words, the states that had the lowest test scores tended to be those that had the highest percentages of children from single-parent families, eighth graders watching lots of TV and eighth graders absent a lot, and the lowest percentages of young children being read to regularly, regardless of what was going on in their schools.
Which gets to the heart of the report: by the time these children start school at age 5, they are far behind, and tend to stay behind all through high school. There is no evidence that the gap is being closed.
“Kids start school from platforms of different heights and teachers don’t have a magic wand they can wave to get kids on the same platform,” said Richard J. Coley, director of E.T.S.’s policy information center and co-author of the report with Paul E. Barton, a senior researcher. “If we’re really interested in raising overall levels of achievement and in closing the achievement gap, we need to pay as much attention to the starting line as we do to the finish line.”
What’s interesting about the report — which combines E.T.S. studies with research on families from myriad sources, including the Census Bureau and Child Trends research center — is how much we know, how often government policy and parental behavior does not reflect that knowledge, and how stacked the odds are against so many children. (The study is at www.ets.org/familyreport.)
Being raised by a single parent in itself steepens the odds considerably. Keep in mind that findings are based on statistical averages, and we all know people raised by a single parent who have thrived; I count seven nieces, nephews and cousins in my own extended family. But on average, the child with a single parent is 2.5 times more likely to repeat a grade. That child on average scores a third of a standard deviation lower on tests — the difference between 500 and 463 on the SAT.
And the demographics are not promising. In 1980, 77 percent of American children lived with two parents compared with 68 percent today. For black children the numbers are more stark: 42 percent lived with both parents in 1980, versus 35 percent today. In contrast, in Japan, 92 percent of children live with both parents.
Single parents on average will have less income and less time for a child, given all the demands. While 11 percent of white children live in poverty, 36 percent of black children and 29 percent of Hispanic children are poor. Half of black children live in families where no parent has year-round full-time employment, according to the analysis.
By age 4 the average child in a professional family hears about 35 million more words than a child in a poor family. While 62 percent of kindergartners from the richest 20 percent are read to at home every day, 36 percent of kindergartners in the poorest 20 percent are read to daily.
The report also found that 24 percent of white eighth graders spend at least four hours in front of TV on a weekday compared with 59 percent of black eighth graders.
These issues are intertwined in complex ways. A child watching five hours of TV can be a case of neglect or it may mean a single parent is trying to make ends meet by working two jobs and is not around to supervise. Absence rates are higher for poor children, whose families are more transient than wealthier families.
But whether it is a parent’s fault or the societal pressures on the parent, the results are hard on the child: The average scores for black and Hispanic children on reading and math assessments at the start of kindergarten are 20 percent lower than for white children.
And when those children are ready to apply to college, one of the surest predictors of how they will perform on the SAT is their family’s income: for every $10,000 of additional family income, the SAT score climbs an average of about 10 points, according to statistics from the College Board.
The report describes how much we rely on child care from an early age — half of 2-year-olds are in some kind of nonparental care — and how much worse that care is for poor and minority children. According to the report, poor children are twice as likely to be in low quality care as middle and upper class children, black children more than twice as likely as white children.
And it is black families who rely on day care most: 63 percent, compared with 49 percent of whites and 44 percent of Asians. Says Mr. Coley, “Our day care system may be reinforcing the gap rather than closing it.”
Another way to support parents of young children is paid leave when a child is born, which is routine in most of the world, but not in the United States.
According to Dr. Jody Heymann, director of the Institute of Health and Social Policy at McGill University, 172 of the 176 countries she surveyed this year offer guaranteed paid leave to women who have just had babies. The four that do not? Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland and the United States.
The United States guarantees 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, but many parents do not qualify for even that, since employers with fewer than 50 workers are exempt.
To better support young families, California in 2004 became the first state to pass a law providing paid leave for new parents. A few more states, including New Jersey and New York, are considering similar legislation.
Mr. Coley believes this kind of government support is necessary if we are serious about closing the gap. “We don’t seem to get it,” he said. “Or maybe we think we can’t afford it, I don’t know.”
Friday, October 12, 2007
Black kids don't shoot up schools?
How many of you never questioned the race of the gunman in the Cleveland, SuccessTech shooting?
How many of you assumed that because the victims were black, the students at the school were black, the gunman was black?
How many of you assumed that all though the victims/students were black, the gunman was white?
How many of you never thought about it?
I, made the assumption that because the victims were black, the students on the news were black, that the gunman was...well, that's it, I don't know what I thought, because when I really thought about it, I realized, that historically, Black kids don't go around shooting up schools. So then and only then did I think, oh my God! The kid was white! Hmmm...Let's see how this plays out. A white kid, described as sullen, “Gothic” in style and prone to wearing long trench coats and painting his fingernails black. In calls to 911, students described Asa Coon as 5 foot 5, white and “kind of chubby.” It has also been reported that he was an atheist who was often ridiculed by other students. Again, I say, let's watch to see how this unfolds...
My early morning thoughts are that mainstream media may try and paint him as a 'victim'. What makes me think that? How many of you saw a picture of Mr. Coon splashed across your TV screen?
There is no doubt Asa Coon stood out among his peers. Obviously, the students at the school found no reason to take his frequent rants seriously, nor did administrators. As a parent and educator, I feel we need to ask more questions. For example, where did a suicidal white kid with a history of mental illness who refuses to take his medicine get 2 handguns, a .38 and a .22 caliber? My second question is, why is it that when such an incident occurs more than likely the gunman will not be black? And finally, surely his mother knew this kid needed help.
Here's what I know for sure, as parents, we need to keep our kids covered in prayer.
Signed,
Mom who is praying for their protection, peace and preparation!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Have you thought about getting extra textbooks for you child?
And since such savvy shopping practices will carry you into the college years when tuition is a fortune and personally owned textbooks are unavoidable you may want to start early by reading the article in Wall St. Journal by Michelle Slatalla who gives you several online sources for purchasing low cost textbooks!
valorebooks.com
biblio.com
abebooks.com
a1books.com
maketextbooksaffordable.org
bookfinder.com
And if you are already a college student, then save yourself a few dollars and search for the best price! I assure you, it's not at the college book store!
Signed,
Seeking ways to save you money while your child earns an A!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Is it socially acceptable to be math illiterate?
As I am sure you can predict, passing rates on the math standardized test are much greater in elementary school than in middle or high school. Scores hit their lowest point in ninth grade, bottom out for a year only to rebound on the 11th-grade exam, just in time for students to graduate. Keep in mind, high schools are rated for AYP (federal accountability) in math based on the performance of their 10th graders in math and reading. Seems kind of backwards, that we base a schools academic rating for federal accountability on the performance of its hormonal and often apathetic 10th graders. (I mean that with love!)
Once again, the recently released 2007 scores on the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) proves this to be the case. In fourth grade, 88 percent of North Texas students pass the math TAKS. But in ninth grade, only 68 percent pass the test. That rises to 83 percent in 11th grade. (You have seen your childs' TAKS scores haven't you?)
The good news is that math scores (along with reading, writing, social studies and science) are mostly up from last year. But despite that improvement, the math slump persists.
This year's results reflect another historic trend: the strong link between student achievement and family income, across subjects and grade levels. Districts with greater proportions of poor students – many of whom are black or Hispanic – tend to have lower TAKS scores because of the academic challenges that poverty brings. Children who are learning English or are in special education also tend to struggle.
But you should also know, middle class black children still don't perform as well as poor white children. (Money are not...black kids are being left behind!) This should cause you to question as a parent or a student why are black children still struggling when economics is not an issue.
In case you were not aware, math and reading are the only subjects tested in every grade, so it's easy to track progress, or lack thereof, from elementary school through graduation.
Although reading scores fluctuate, they don't take the same ninth-grade nose dive that math scores do.
Here is some information from the Dallas Morning News (Saturday, June 30, 2007) on a few districts in the DFW area:
- Math scores plunged the deepest in the Lancaster school district, from 71 percent passing in fourth grade to just 32 percent in ninth grade.
- In Dallas, passing rates for those grades fell from 76 percent to 41 percent.
- Even higher-achieving districts, with few or no students held back in ninth grade, saw math performance tumble.
- McKinney's passing rates fell from 95 percent in fourth grade to 77 percent in ninth grade.
- In Allen, math scores sank in just a year, from 92 percent in eighth grade to 83 percent in ninth.
- Local schools also had similar drops in science, though it's tested only in grades five, eight, 10 and 11.
It seems that there is not as much uproar when students are failing math. Would the reaction be different if we saw such a decline in reading scores? Many would argue that it is socially acceptable to be 'math illiterate' but not illiterate. How often have you as a parent or student admitted aloud " I can't do math to save my life!" But would you admit it if you couldn't read?
If you have not checked the rating for your child's school and you live in Texas, click the link below and fill in the name of the school to access the information!
http://www.tea.state.tx.us/perfreport/account/2007/campus.srch.html
Signed,
Poor performance in math did not subtract from my future!
Is your child attending a low performing school? Were you notified of a school choice option?
Schools of Choice
Which campuses may be offered to students as transfer options?
Except in the situations described in items E-9 and E-12, students must be given the option to transfer to other public school campuses, which may be campus charter schools, within the LEA (local education agency). The choices made available to students may not include campuses identified for improvement (or corrective action or restructuring) under Title I or identified by the State as persistently dangerous.
Open-enrollment charter schools that fall within the boundaries of an LEA, but are not authorized by the LEA, may also be included as transfer options, in coordination and with the agreement of the individual charter school. The public schools from which students may choose may be, but are not required to be, public schools that operate Title I programs [34 C.F.R Section 200.44(a)(3)].
May an LEA (local education agency) provide eligible students with an option to transfer to campuses outside of the district?
Yes. In fact, the law states that if all public school campuses within an LEA to which a child may transfer are identified for school improvement, corrective action, or restructuring, the LEA must, to the extent practicable, establish a cooperative agreement with other LEAs in the area that are willing to accept its students as transfers. In addition, LEAs that are not in this situation may want to include inter-district transfers in their plans, in order to broaden the range of student choices or mitigate capacity concerns in the district, or both.
What if providing the option to transfer to another campus within the district is not possible?
A number of LEAs may have no campuses available to which students can transfer. This situation might occur when all campuses at a grade level are in school improvement or when the LEA has only a single campus at that grade level. It may also occur in rural areas where an LEA’s campuses are so remote from another that choice is impracticable. For example, if the only other elementary school is over 50 miles away, then choice is likely impracticable. On the other hand, if other potential elementary school choices are located outside an LEA-defined attendance zone or internal boundary, these LEA defined boundaries may not be used to prevent student transfers.
In these cases, the LEA must, to the extent practicable, enter into cooperative agreements with other LEAs in the area (or with open-enrollment charter schools in the State) that can accept its students as transfers [Section 1116(b)(11)]. The LEA may also wish to offer supplemental services or other campus reform strategies to students attending campuses in their first stage of improvement who cannot be given the opportunity to change campuses [34 C.F.R. Section 200.44(h)(2)].
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Sleep Deprivation Leads to Poor Academic Performance
How much sleep does your son or daughter need?
7-12 Years Old : 10 - 11 hours per day
At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 - 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 - 12 hours, although the average is only 9 ½ hours.
Sleep needs do not decrease and remain vitally important to your child's health, development, and well-being. Without the proper amount of sleep, your child will become increasingly sleepy during the day. Those children with a history of sleep problems see them persist. They do not "outgrow them."
In his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth, MD, sums up what you may find in children who routinely do not get the sleep they need, with a bit of a Catch 22: "School achievement difficulties were found more often among poor sleepers compared to good sleepers.... Young children who have difficulty sleeping become older children with more academic problems. But children who are academically successful risk not getting the sleep they need!"
12-18 Years Old : 8 ¼ - 9 ½ hours per day
Sleep needs remain just as vital to health and well-being for teenagers as when they were younger. It turns out that many teenagers over 15 actually need more sleep than in previous years. Now, however, social pressures conspire against getting the proper amount and quality of sleep.
Teens are not getting the sleep they once did, and many have difficulty falling asleep and frequently wake up at night. This is not normal, and all this is taking a toll. Sleep deprivation is associated with mood changes and behavioral problems, including conduct disorders and inattention.
One study of U.S. high school students found that 13% were chronically sleep-deprived. Other international studies confirm the global nature of this problem. Not getting enough sleep and not sleeping well is not OK.
SOURCES: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. A step-by-step program for a good night's sleep, March Weissbluth, MD. 1999. Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, Richard Ferber, MD, 1985. Sleeping Through the Night, How Infants, Toddlers and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep, Jodi Mindell, PhD, 1997.
Monday, August 13, 2007
AP or Dual Credit $aves you money on college while $till attending high school!
Question: I am a concerned Aunt wanting to prepare my niece for college. She will be in the 10th grade this school year and I know this is a critical year for her. I asked her yesterday about getting AP courses and she said the teachers pick which students get to take those classes. I know she has the grades to be in one but she may not have the relationship with her teachers to be chosen.
Signed,
Concerned Aunt in Dallas
Answer: The teachers may have a role in selecting who takes AP but your niece has an option to select AP as well if she scores whatever the required score is for AP classes. Her mom/dad should definitely inquire and let the teacher know of their interest and desire for her to take AP. With that being said, keep in mind that students who take AP must score a 3 or a 4 in order to receive college credit for the course. If the student scores a 1 or a 2 then she would have basically taken the course for nothing....however, if she takes Dual Credit, then as long as she passes the course she gets college credit. Ideally, a student could graduate from high school and enter college as a sophomore if they take advantage of dual credit courses while in high school. Most parents are not aware of this and not all students are "AP" material. I am not saying that is the case with your niece but she must make a 3 or 4 on the AP exam to get the credit. Dual credit courses are generally offered 'free' to students. (community colleges get reimbursed for high school students 100%) The school should also supply the textbooks for dual credit courses so it really saves the parents money on the total cost of college education. I am surprised the teacher is not encouraging AP because most teachers get a financial incentive for students who take and pass the AP exam. Rarely ever do schools push dual credit although it makes a great deal of sense.
Signed,
AP
(Always preparing)